We’ve talked to countless people over the years who have a story like this one:

My elderly neighbor died last week, and I read in her online obituary that there’s a visitation and funeral this weekend. I cared about my neighbor and want to pay my respects, but I have never met her family and have no idea what to say to them. I don’t want it to be awkward. Maybe it’s better that I just stay home.

Here are a few words of advice from our caring staff members at Egizi Funeral Home: If at all possible, attend the funeral.

Psychologists and grief counselors agree that a ceremony can be a healing experience, helping survivors move through their grief. A funeral gives loved ones a sense of closure and finality, and it serves as an opportunity to support one another through sharing stories and memories. There is no substitute for seeing friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers gathered together—in person or online, if a service is livestreamed.

When attending a visitation, here are examples of what you can say to the family:

  • My condolences.
  • I’m really sorry you’re going through this.
  • Your mom was a wonderful woman.
  • You loved him/her well.
  • I’m thinking of your family during this difficult time.

It’s also an appropriate time to share a story you have about their loved one. Some of the most powerful moments we’ve witnessed at a visitation or funeral are when someone shares a story the close family had forgotten or never heard. During a time of grief, moments like these can be tremendously healing.

That said, it’s important to remember that appearing too upbeat or offering “pat” platitudes may not be helpful to those who have lost someone special. Here are a few examples of comments to avoid:

“I know exactly how you feel.”

“God never gives us more than we can handle.”

“God must have needed another angel.”

“This is God’s plan.”

“Just try to be strong.”

Or anything starting with the words “at least”.

Instead, consider saying this:

  • I wish I had the right words to say, but please know I’m here to listen.
  • You must really miss him.
  • We all need support in times like these. I’m here for you.
  • I know how special she was to you.
  • We will never forget her.

We want the families we serve to know that the Egizi team is here for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We offer a variety of grief recovery resources and support options. Whether you’re having a difficult time following a loss or would like to learn how to ease stress on your family by preplanning your own arrangements, please contact us anytime.

When someone dies, their loved ones often feel numb during the days and weeks that follow. At Egizi Funeral Home, our professional staff members help families plan meaningful funeral and cremation services with care, dignity, and compassion. Our years of service have taught us how to stand alongside those who are experiencing loss.